Your mother-in-law never criticized or punished her boy, whom she willingly (or rather, very unwillingly) entrusted to you at the altar, but always defended him against all ugly accusations: "Dear lady (teacher), how could my son start a fight? Are you sure that he caught his classmate in a headlock rather than hugging him out of sheer affection? What? You say he choked the stupid brat? He was probably smothering him with friendly love. Why'd you get on his case? I'll complain about your false accusations and biased interpretation of the incident!"
If there was anyone who punished him and wronged him, it was his father. But you're not his father. You're his mommy, too, right after his mommy. Therefore, repeatedly tell your partner that you feel good with him and occasionally express your sincere admiration for his awesomeness (about twice a day, more often might seem suspicious). You can do this, all women are actresses, only some take a salary for it.
"You are the best in the world at everything!" (This way you can be sure that you haven't left out any area in which he feels capable.)
"So handsome!
"So smart!"
"So funny!"
"How strong and muscular you are!"
"How heroically you fight against global warming!"
"And how straight you park - right between the lanes."
And it's not a bad idea to promise some never-before-experienced erotic adventures at every opportunity, which can be inspired by the sites you let your partner block on the phones of your children. But it's not blocked on your phone, so get searching. You just have to take into account that when you ask the young shopping assistant at your favorite clothing outlet to help you reinstall their customer loyalty app because you just can't get into it (you've forgotten your username, the required 12-character security password, or both), your phone's autocomplete will throw up a link to howdoeshewantmetodohimthen.com on the top of the screen for her to see.
If you understand that his desire for admiration and praise is never-ending, and provide it in a sufficient (= infinite) amount, his self-esteem will rise steeply up level by level until he reaches the desired level of nirvana, which you will definitely notice. For that is the moment when a man puts his hands on his chest and begins to rise up from the ground as well. To do this, he seeks out the nearest usable pedestal to climb on.
Don't panic if after a successful praising he suddenly strides with his hands folded on his chest not on the floor but rather on the corner cushioned bench at your kitchen dining table, not even taking off his shoes. Don't be surprised if you find that, at the moment of his utmost importance, the man is no longer at the same altitude as you, but a couple of tens of centimetres higher up. In nature, any elevated spot, including stumps, can serve him for this purpose. In the extreme case, this ceremony can end in disaster, that is, when your beloved, in the ecstasy of his ego, climbs up an anthill (in the case of the green eco-activist, it is even more of a disaster, because the furious ant begins to secrete excessive amounts of CO2).
It is useless to cast astonished glances at your partner at such moments and to raise your eyebrows, because he is not aware of the strangeness of his behaviour. If you want to allow him to come down in a dignified manner without being ridiculed, simply urge him, "Come here, darling, I want to hug you so badly," and gently shake all the insects off him, taking care that they do not crawl on you instead. Whisper in his ear that he will be rewarded tonight (because you finally know how he wants you to do him).
In this context, emphasize to him what exceptional sex you are having with him. Exclaim: "I've never experienced this in bed before!" (even though, as usual, he has skipped both foreplay and aftercare). Because that's where you always score a bull's-eye. If a man has (only rarely) any doubts about himself, for example when someone else is promoted at work quite unexpectedly, he never has them about his performance, because (get this) he is exceptional in bed. Any potential failures the man attributes to his partner:
not trying hard enough, or trying too hard,
wearing overly suggestive erotic lingerie, or not wearing it, looked tired, indifferent, or otherwise inappropriate (sometimes it's bad enough if she looks any way at all).
However, the reason for the failure could also be that during sex the partner:
was talking or not saying anything,
moaning too much or not enough,
or (this one is the most serious) she forgot to call her lover tiger, or ecobot, as he specifically! asked; she got it wrong and instead called him my little puppy or pink boy again.
Delight your beloved with tender kisses, warm embraces and especially with a constant and persistent euphoric gushing of praise for his person. Then you will receive not only a car, but also his eternal love and devotion. If you let him know you care about him, he will care about you :-)
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